Coaching isn’t about fixing you, it's about fueling your success
Coaching isn’t about fixing you, it's about fueling your success
Too many school leaders in Aotearoa still carry an unspoken belief: “If I have a coach, it must mean I’m underperforming… there’s something wrong with me.”
I hear this narrative often. It sits quietly in the back of conversations with principals and middle leaders I work with. The fear isn’t just about getting coaching—it’s about what others might think if they knew.
Does it mean I’m not good enough? That I can’t cope? That I’m failing at this job I worked so hard to earn?
But what if coaching isn’t about fixing you? What if it’s about fuelling you—so you can keep showing up for the people who depend on your leadership?
In New Zealand education, we have a strong culture of resilience and stoicism. We “push through,” we “make do,” and we “figure it out.” Asking for help often feels like weakness—shaped by those moments when we asked and were judged, or when we heard others criticised for needing support.
There’s a prevailing narrative that, as professionals, we should simply know what to do. It’s ironic, really, given that the very purpose of education is learning. These expectations don’t come from nowhere—they’re born out of a workforce that is extremely time-poor, where even creating space to support one another can feel like an added burden.
That’s why coaching is so often misunderstood. Leaders think:
It’s remedial. Something for underperformers.
It’s corrective. Something for when you’re broken.
It’s indulgent. Something that distracts from the “real” work.
I’ve spoken with leaders who admitted they avoided coaching for months—even years—because they were afraid their Boards, their staff, or their peers would think less of them. Even some of my current clients—who are fortunate to have their schools sponsor their coaching—initially believed the invitation meant others thought they weren’t doing their job well enough. It’s not uncommon to hear, “I don’t need that.”
I used to think that way too. But as a credentialed and certified coach, I now get coached every single week—and I absolutely love it.
Here is what one client shared with me recently...
“At the start, I honestly didn’t think this program would be worthwhile. I had my doubts about whether it would really make a difference. But now, I can see how life-changing it’s been — not just in my leadership, but in other areas of my life as well. It’s been valuable in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and I’m genuinely glad I committed to it.”
The Reality: High Performers Have Coaches
The world’s best don’t have coaches because they’re failing. They have coaches because they’re already excelling, and they want to keep growing.
Top athletes wouldn’t dream of competing without a coach. CEOs and global leaders work with coaches to sharpen their decision-making, raise their impact, and manage the enormous weight of responsibility they carry.
Think about the All Blacks. Yes, they have coaches for fitness, strategy, and skills—but that’s only part of the picture. They also work with mental skills coaches, nutritionists, leadership mentors, and cultural advisors. Why? Because they know that world-class performance doesn’t come from technical ability alone—it comes from mindset, resilience, and the ability to show up fully under pressure. Education leadership is no different. It’s not just about managing timetables and policies—it’s about clarity, energy, and sustaining the mindset that allows you to lead at your best.
Education is no different. The complexity, pace, and pressure of leading schools today is immense.
Coaching isn’t about rescue—it’s about resilience. It’s about performance. It’s about sustainability.
The data backs this up. Global research shows coaching isn’t a cost—it’s an investment with measurable returns. Studies report that coaching delivers an average of 5–7 times ROI, with leaders reporting a 70% increase in individual performance, a 50% boost in team performance, and nearly 48% improvement in organisational outcomes. In other words, coaching doesn’t drain resources—it multiplies them.
For education leaders, that translates into sharper decision-making, stronger staff engagement, and ultimately, better outcomes for students.
If we expect our teachers and students to embrace lifelong learning, shouldn’t we model the same as leaders?
Why Coaching Matters for NZ Education Leaders
Our sector is facing unprecedented challenges:
Change fatigue is real. New policies, shifting expectations, constant adaptation.
Staff shortages mean leaders are doing more with less.
Isolation at the top leaves many principals feeling they have no safe space to think out loud.
Coaching offers what leaders most often tell me they crave:
Clarity in decision-making.
Confidence in handling resistance.
Calm amidst constant change.
Connection that breaks the sense of carrying it all alone.
Client 1’s Story of Transformation
When Client 1 first entered the program, he wasn’t convinced it would be worthwhile. He had doubts about whether coaching could make a real difference for him. What he discovered was far beyond what he expected.
At the beginning, Client 1 often found himself reactive in difficult situations, overthinking, and carrying the weight of other people’s responsibilities. He described himself as someone who liked to be in control and struggled when things felt chaotic. Conflicts with colleagues would leave him frustrated, drained, and questioning his ability to lead with calm and clarity.
Through the program, Client 1 learned practical tools that reshaped his leadership. He began applying strategies such as mirroring energy, slowing down in heated moments, and focusing on clarity and compassion rather than control. He noticed immediate changes: instead of escalating conflict, he was de-escalating it. Instead of rescuing others, he was holding them accountable. His colleagues began to mirror his calmer approach, and he found himself sleeping better, feeling less drained, and more purposeful in his work.
Perhaps the biggest transformation for Client 1 has been clarity around his purpose. A deputy principal role had tempted him, but through reflection, he realised that while growth and challenge are vital to him, balance and personal fulfilment matter even more. He now recognises his dual purpose: to continually find meaningful challenge in his role while also reconnecting with “personal Client 1” outside of work.
What began as a program he was unsure about has become, in his own words, “life changing… valuable in more ways than I could have imagined.”
Client 2’s Story of Transformation
When Client 2 began her leadership coaching, she carried a heavy load. She often found herself stepping in to solve problems, taking on extra work, and feeling the weight of relationships that weren’t working. Her instinct was to manage through control and problem-solving, which left her flustered, overextended, and sometimes questioning her own confidence.
Through her coaching journey, Client 2 discovered a different way of leading—one rooted in empowerment, trust, and role modelling. Instead of solving every issue herself, she began giving her team the clarity, autonomy, and tools they needed to make their own decisions. She described this shift as moving from being the “one-man band” doing it all, to the conductor of the orchestra—holding space and guiding, rather than performing every part.
This shift transformed how her team experienced her leadership. Rather than relying on her brilliance or perfectionism, they felt empowered, valued, and motivated from within. Client 2 noticed that when her team felt this sense of ownership, they were more willing to step outside their comfort zones and follow her lead with confidence and energy. The responsibility for driving momentum no longer sat solely on her shoulders—it was shared.
Perhaps the most profound outcome for Client 2 was the sense of calm and clarity she now carries. She no longer strives for perfection or clings to control; instead, she models presence, empathy, and respect. Even in moments where old habits resurface—like reacting strongly when triggered—she now has the self-awareness and tools to pause, reset, and re-align with her purpose.
Today, Client 2 leads not by over-functioning, but by empowering. Her purpose has shifted from being the problem-solver to being the role model who creates the conditions for her team to thrive. In her words, her greatest growth has been learning to “triage, empower, and trust”—a transformation that has not only lifted her team but also allowed her to step more fully into the confident, calm, and influential leader she was meant to be
Debunking the Myths
Reframing the Narrative
Let’s rewrite the story:
Having a coach doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you are brave enough to invest in becoming the leader your school, your staff, and your students need you to be.
The real question isn’t “Do I need a coach?”
The real question is: “What could I achieve—and how could I sustain it—if I had one?”
If the All Blacks wouldn’t step into a match without a coach, why should you walk into the biggest leadership challenge of your career without one?
Coaching isn’t about fixing you. It’s about fuelling you.
And in a sector where change and pressure are constant, that fuel isn’t a luxury—it’s essential.
