What kind of striver are you?
Are you a stressful striver or a productive striver?
Have you ever wanted to set out to achieve your goals in a way that is filled with purpose, excitement, and fulfilment? To feel motivated and inspired, driven by a sense of passion and alignment with our values. To wake up each day with a clear sense of direction, knowing that our efforts are moving us closer to our goals and enriching our lives. To achieve a balance where our ambitions fuel our growth, creativity, and joy, allowing us to thrive both personally and professionally.
However, the path to achieving your goals is frequently obstructed by various barriers. Stress, fear, and doubt can cloud your vision, making it difficult to stay aligned with your true desires. External pressures, such as societal expectations and the need for approval, can divert you from your authentic goals. Additionally, internal challenges like procrastination, lack of confidence, and feelings of inadequacy often create a disconnect between your aspirations and your daily actions. These obstacles can transform the journey from a fulfilling experience into a stressful and overwhelming endeavour.
Me too.
Then, I delved into high-performance research, studying the habits and mindsets of successful individuals. I learned from high achievers and performers, understanding the specific strategies that keep them performing at higher levels of success over the long term without the risk of burnout or damaging their relationships.
They manage to achieve a state referred to as productive thinking, which has all the aspects of all the things we desire when we embark on our goal-chasing missions.
Let’s take a look at productive striving and its shadow side - stressful striving.
Understanding Stressful and Productive Striving
Stressful striving and productive striving might seem similar on the surface, but they are fundamentally different in how they impact us. Stressful striving is characterised by a relentless push towards goals, often driven by fear, anxiety, and a sense of scarcity. It feels like a never-ending race where you’re never doing enough, and your actions are misaligned with your true desires and strengths. This striving leaves you feeling drained, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your joy and purpose.
In contrast, productive striving is energising and sustainable. It occurs when you pursue goals that deeply resonate with your values and vision. The process itself is fulfilling, and you enjoy the journey as much as the destination. Here, challenges are seen as opportunities for growth, and your effort feels rewarding and meaningful. This striving leads to high performance and a sense of engagement, joy, and confidence in your ability to make a difference.
Through this lens, I can see I’ve had periods of time stuck in stressful striving, working hard in that churn zone that often accompanies a sense of only just surviving. Constantly pushing myself to achieve more. Waking up early, working late into the night, and sacrificing my personal life for the sake of my career. Despite my hard work, I felt perpetually anxious and inadequate. My striving was driven by the fear of failure and the belief that I was never doing enough. This constant state of stress left me exhausted and unhappy, and I started questioning the purpose of my efforts.
When I left the education sector, I didn’t really know myself well enough to express myself. I have spent the last six years learning who I am and what’s important to me. Part of that journey has been studying high performance. As a certified high-performance coach, I now understand the difference and have the habits and mindsets to not be in stressful striving but to operate from a space of productive striving.
Shifting from stressful striving to productive striving was deeply rooted in gaining clarity and aligning with my purpose. It started with understanding who I was, what I valued, and where I wanted to go. Clarity acted as my compass, guiding my efforts and helping me to channel them in ways that were not only effective but also fulfilling.
When I had a clear sense of my goals, and these goals resonated with my deeper values, my striving became productive. I wasn't just chasing success for its own sake; I was building a life that was meaningful to me. This alignment reduced the friction that often came with pursuing goals that didn't truly resonate with who I was, which was often the source of stress in striving.
Moreover, setting specific, challenging goals that aligned with this clarity dramatically increased my performance and satisfaction. It was about creating a roadmap for my actions that outlined what I aimed to achieve and why it was important to me.
Stressful Striving vs. Productive Striving: A Comparative Analysis
How Stressful Striving shows up:
Constant feelings of being overwhelmed and anxious about tasks and deadlines.
Experiencing headaches, fatigue, insomnia, and other stress-related physical ailments.
A general sense of being out of sync with joy and purpose, leading to dissatisfaction.
Causes of Stressful Striving:
Driven by external expectations, societal pressures, or fear of failure.
A mindset rooted in fear, scarcity, and the belief that one is never doing enough.
Pursuing goals that are not aligned with true desires or strengths.
Beliefs Underpinning Stressful Striving:
Perfectionism, Inadequacy, External Validation
You may believe that things need to be perfect. As a result, you believe any mistake is a failure - even if you don’t express that opinion openly to others. You experience feelings of not being good enough or doing well enough despite numerous accomplishments. You might also rely heavily on external validation and approval to feel worthy or successful.
Signs that you are operating from a place of Stressful Striving:
Chronic Stress: Persistent stress, anxiety, and feelings of burnout.
Lack of Joy: A lack of joy and passion in daily activities and pursuits.
Physical Exhaustion: Frequent physical exhaustion and health issues related to stress.
How Productive Striving shows up:
An invigorating and motivating approach to goals, feeling alive and driven.
Generally better physical health, with fewer stress-related symptoms.
A deep sense of fulfilment and alignment with one’s values and passions.
Causes of Productive Striving:
Driven by internal motivations and a clear vision of personal values and goals.
A mindset focused on growth, learning, and abundance.
Pursuing goals that deeply resonate with one’s values, strengths, and passions.
Beliefs underpinning Productive Striving:
Growth Mindset, Self-Worth, Intrinsic Motivation
You believe that challenges and setbacks are opportunities for growth and learning. You have a strong sense of self-worth and confidence in your abilities and potential. You value the journey and the process, finding satisfaction in personal progress and alignment with your values.
Signs that you are operating from a place of Productive Striving:
Sustained Energy: Consistent energy levels and a feeling of being invigorated by one’s goals.
Joy in Process: Enjoying the process and finding joy in the journey towards achieving goals.
Positive Outlook: A positive and proactive approach to challenges, viewing them as opportunities rather than obstacles.
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Strategies for Shifting to Productive Striving
To shift from stressful striving to productive striving, consider the following strategies:
Reflect on Your Values: Take time to understand your core values and what truly matters to you. This self-awareness will guide your goal-setting process.
Set Meaningful Goals: Align your goals with your values and passions. Ensure that your objectives resonate with your true desires.
Focus on the Journey: Embrace the process and find joy in the daily actions that move you towards your goals. Celebrate small wins and progress.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognise that striving doesn’t mean perfection. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage and motivate you. Share your goals and progress with them.
Understanding the differences between stressful striving and productive striving is crucial for personal well-being and fulfilment. While stressful striving is driven by fear, external pressures, and misalignment with true desires, productive striving is fueled by internal motivation, alignment with values, and a growth-oriented mindset. By reflecting on the causes, beliefs, and signs of each striving, individuals can shift from a state of stress and anxiety to one of fulfilment and joy, making their journey towards their goals both meaningful and sustainable.
Join me this Friday for the
PRODUCTIVE STRIVING MASTERCLASS
During this Masterclass, you will:
Learn the Four High-Performance Habits That Increase Your Productivity by 30% In Just One Week
Strategically Master Your Moves Towards More Energy And Fulfilment In Your Life, Career and Relationships
Make Small But Mighty Changes To How You Approach Your Day & Bring More PRODUCTIVE STRIVING
